Sunday, 25 September 2011

A Mugging / Rude Man in Restaurant / Carrot Top TV Tasks

A Mugging

I was a student and I was walking home late at night from somewhere when I met a fellow student walking in the opposite direction. He was wearing one of those "open face" balaclavas. It suddenly became apparent that he meant to mug me! He started to go through all my stuff, throwing it unceremoniously on the floor. He couldn't find any money because I didn't have any, but he did take my bank card.

Somehow I managed to turn the tables on the fellow and I grabbed him by the throat. I demanded he return my bank card, but instead he kept giving me playing cards.

A small boy who had run to get the principal (my dreams are obviously tailored to the American market nowadays) suddenly appeared, with her in tow. The mugger had vanished by now.

I tried to get the principal to do something about the mugger but she refused, saying he was just a petty criminal. I went into speech mode and said something like:

"A criminal yes, dot dot dot or even colon. Note the word criminal here, as in against the law, and the law exists for one purpose and that is to protect ME!"

I mention how I think it was an opportunistic rather than planned crime since the criminal only had five pounds himself, and happened to meet me, and needed some cash for something, so pounced.

She, unconvinced by this first class rhetoric still refuses to look into the crime. I say "Oh, fuck off then!". I'm confident that such rudeness will not lead her to expel me because she needs my tuition fees.

Rude Man in Restaurant

I was in a restaurant. There was a strange man standing in between the tables with a big grin on his face, making some frantic motion with his arm. "I'm wanking!" he said to me, and I looked, and he was. Suddenly he came and my hair was subject to sudden, unsolicited jizzification.

Well of course I was mightily annoyed! I took this fellow's hat and walked over to the sea, which was for some odd reason, nearby. Perhaps it was a beach-front restaurant? I tried to throw the hat into the sea with a cry of "For Justice!" but the throws kept being unimpressive and the hat kept returning. M&E were in a rubber dingy in the sea, watching me, so I felt I had to do the thing well.

Carrot Top Tv Tasks

I was in some sort of weird environment filled with mechs (Japanese robots basically). My friends S&I are there too. I try to dress up in a mech suit but I'm too fat and I can't fasten a certain buckle across my chest. I do stomp around a bit for the sake of comedy though.

We find out who is "managing" us. (It seems we are in some tv show or something). It's Carrot Top. (Who the FUCKABILLY is Carrot Top? He's an American comedian with red hair. I've never seen him but he was in an ep. of Family Guy). S and I (that's I referring to me, not "I" the friend's initial) think it's funny because I (Sigh, the friend this time) is known to really hate this particular celebrity.

Anyway this jolly Mr. Carrot Top has a big ring binder of Important Tasks for us to perform. We are all doing tasks together because we are "the boys"; "The Girls" have to do a task where they collect honey from bees. They have to dress up as bees with stainless steel buckets on their head as helmets (why?!) and are dangled down to the hive on strings.

Mr. Carrot Top is not quite as organized as his ring binder might lead one to believe though, since he's proceeding as if we are up to task 3.5 while really we are only just supposed to be starting 3.2, which is apparently fighting some weird cartoony sort of goblin monsters.

Bonus Dream!

I was walking down a busy city multi-lane road, AGAINST THE TRAFFIC! That's it. Sorry.

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