X-man /

I was an x-man for real! The dream even included two false awakenings so I was completely convinced it was real and not a dream.

My powers mostly all basically involved producing things from my fingertips. I did this by saying an activation word, e.g. "Fire!" or "Water!" etc. The main one was fire. It was only quite weak fire- not like a flamethrower or anything, but it did melt my fingernails. I also could produce water. Another thing I could produce were living plants from my fingertips. I also had telekinesis. In fact I wanted to film my abilities on my ipod and send it to Ricky Gervais since they he mentioned on his radio show years ago that they wanted someone with telekinetic powers to write in.

First of all I was showing my friend "I" my powers. I showed him I had nothing on my hand or under my nails then I did fire from my right hand at his bowed head. At first he just felt warm air, then his stubble caught fire and he was moderately impressed although people in general, for example my mother and others were not as falling down with amazement as I felt they should be.

I met my old girlfriend T. and she was with someone else now and very drunk. I started having a go at her saying "Ha! You should have stayed with me because our child would have a chance to have super powers". She was just rude back and started saying things like: "So you've broken 14 bones then, was that just turning over in the night or something?" and I said "Are you just trying to be offensive?". She went away. I said "Well she's gone all fat anyway", which she had, but as I said it I was actually looking at an old woman who was very fat, and not T. who had long since departed.

Then there was a scene in a cafe. I was demonstrating my ability to lift objects with telekinesis. I managed to make a cup and saucer lift a few inches off a table and keep it hovering, uncertainly in the air for a short while. I couldn't lift it any higher but I said at least I have a power, I mean it's proof that weird stuff exists. I also do small fire effects and a new one, producing plants from my fingertips! They started out as small, stringy tendrils coming out of my fingers but grew and swelled into massive thick stalks coming out from me which even had faces in them.

A small boy, fascinated, grabs my arm as I'm doing tricks but I tell him not to, warning him that he could get cancer or something for all I know, touching the source of that power.

I also try out lasers from my fingertips but stop because there's lots of reflective surfaces about.

A woman is leaving the cafe. She complains of being tired, so I point my fingers at her back and say "Awake! Energy!" or something similar and suddenly she perks up and has a spring in her step. Another woman in the cafe criticises me though, saying that the woman will crash and burn later after staying up for too long with the energy I've given her. (I recently stayed up too long myself and got over tired with bad results).

Outside everyone was stuck in a traffic jam. I was in a car.

Some punks were doing something bad to me or someone. I dunno, any excuse, so I flamed them up a bit with my fire ability until they were screaming and burning, sitting in their open-topped car. Fun for all the family. I am a merciful god though, so I produced water from my fingers to put them out before they died.

There were a load of people by the side of the road who were all kind of bunched up against the wall. One was spitting on me or pissing on me or dropping something on me. I put my hands together with my fingers all splayed out and my thumbs touching then pulled them slowly about six inches apart saying "barrier!" and a small plastic tray appeared. It was transparent and had writing on it. I say that my powers may not be that big or impressive, but that just a small amount of energy and used intelligently and look what you can do.

I then found out that the tray was actually some sunglasses and were kind of UV light backlit so a bit more energy went into the creation than I thought. I put the glasses on and walk around, ashamed inside and saying to people "I know, I know" apologetically.

It was a great feeling to have all these powers though, and I had been walking round shouting "I'm an x-man! A fucking real life x-man!" From this point on it seemed that people feared my powers and shunned me as different. Maybe they just wanted me to STFU and were jealous though, who knows?

I was walking along minding my own business, carrying an old typewriter in a bag with handles when I met some old men who also had an old typewriter in a bag. But these old man feared and despised me! As I was admiring their old typewriter they zipped up my carrying handle in their bag and were preparing to walk off. Luckily though my fingertips had another power, the ability to cut string (Yeah super useful, eh?) I suppose it was a cutting beam of some kind. I couldn't cut the string in time even with my "super" string cutting power though, so I pointed my left hand fingers at the man and said "fire! ... maybe" and he, fearing for his face, let me extricate my bag handle and be on my way.

Next I had a meeting with other superheroes which was a welcome relief from the hatred of fear of the "normals". Daredevil was real and was there in addition to numerous others from x-men and so on. Suddenly the floor under the table where we were sitting started to bulge. I said "Who's coming to dinner?!" and a superhero who was actually totally a pink pig with black brindle markings on appeared from under the floor and then started chasing chickens about up and down the road outside.